Arise

Wake up oh sleeper. The time to rise is now. You woke me up at 5pm but I just lay there. Today when you hear His voice, do not harden your hearts the way your fathers did in the rebellion and they did not enter My rest. Anissa, rest is what you look for, peace in your inmost heart and it can only come as the fruit of obedience, that is remaining in Me. Moment by moment you must stay hidden in Me; it is in this hiding place that I cover you with My blood and I gently wash every stain, every hurt, every bruise, every doubt and fear. Go then, this day, be clothed in white, sanctified in My blood that makes you as white as snow.

To be near God is my happiness (Psalm 73) On reading Introduction to the Devout Life, by Francis de Sales, he speaks of regular confession; of not merely forsaking sin but the affections of it: “these wretched affections will perpetually enfeeble your mind, and clog it, so that you will be unable to be diligent, ready and frequent in good works, wherein nevertheless lies the very essence of all true devotion.” I think of the plaque on the walls of the arteries. The closing the of the heart, the hardening of the arteries that prevents  the blood of Christ to flow freely through me and be active and alive. Life is in the blood. To be full of sin, of plaque does not allow Christ's blood to flow freely through me and I do feel weak in good deeds. Not doing good deeds in and of themselves but as the natural course of a healthy body in Christ. I do feel clogged, spiritually. I feel my love for others is so faint. I sigh in my own weariness but am not on fire for the children of your creation.

“Souls which, in spite of having forsaken sin, yet retain such likings and longings, remind us of those persons who, without being actually ill, are pale and sickly, languid in all they do, eating without appetite, sleeping without refreshment, laughing without mirth, dragging themselves about rather than walking briskly. Such souls as I have described lose all the grace of their good deeds, which are probably few and feeble, through their spiritual languor". This is how I feel.

This lukewarm feeling must be replaced with Your heat, Your heart. Please give me a love for what You love and a desire not only to be in Your presence but to be obedient in action not only in wistful thoughts.

My children are stirring. I will continue to read.

Amen